it's the 2nd weekend of the year and i'm writing my year-end blog just now. wow. talk about being busy.

but i was busy. i was busy with work the 1st 2 weeks of the year. boo! management took 2 accounts off my hands and gave me a new one. now, instead of writing about 4 accounts, i write about 2... 2 demanding and tasking accounts! why, oh, why did i get these major accounts? a colleague, who has the same accounts like i do, justified that we both always submit reports on time, that's why the management entrusted us with these accounts. flattering, yes. pero, naman... it's kinda stressing us out! instead of being swamped for just the 1st week of every month, now, i'll be stressed out for 2-3 weeks every month! Lord.

i guess i'll be doing a short recap of 2011 then.

2011 was... an emotional and psychological rollercoaster for me. highlights centered on birthdays ~ my bunso's carnival-themed 1st birthday, my panganay's tinkerbell-themed 3rd birthday and my mom's 60th surprise birthday party. all three took much of my time, energy, and planning skills ~ but i did it with much enthusiasm. i love planning for parties. it's just one of my favorite things to do.

then the parties itself were fun... being with family and friends is always always fun. seeing my kids' eyes light up and seeing my mom's face when we surprised her were much too precious.

then there were trips to zambales for weekend getaways. those were fun too. oh, and my casa ibiza birthday celebration! but then those are the only vacations that we took. so it was a blah year in terms of vacation for the family.

good new is, for 2011, we didn't use our creditcard. i'm kinda proud of that. but props to my husband as he is more disciplined than i am. better news is, our credit card debt is all clean! [insert applause here]

then there are the emotionally wrecking scenarios that shook me to my very core and almost shattered everything i believed in. those were just heartbreaking.

i wish it was all just a nightmare. but it is not. it's as real as it gets. and it's the probably the most painful thing i have ever felt.

but i'm trying to get past it now. and so i'm glad 2011 is over. i'm glad that it's a new year. i'd like to look at it as a chance to start anew. it would be difficult. but i think i'm determined and strong enough to make the changes i want. i'm just keeping my fingers crossed that fate is on my side this time.

2012 ~ ftw!!!

a friend of mine posted an old music video of the white stripes on fb today and it reminded me that i had a crush on the band's vocalist (malamang, alangan naman yung drummer).

his name is jack white, the half of white stripes. the other half is comprised of his sister, meg white.

and it occurred to me that jack white looked like gerard way, the chemical romance's vocalist (with whom i had a huge crush too) ~ am i sounding like a high school here?

anyway, kaya pala i like them both:



and then, i come across this:



... so i heart them 3 kasi magkakamuka sila.

[high school type of post is brought to you by the letters s, t, r, e, and double s]

read an article titled, 'longest married couple share secrets' and found this:

Marriage is wonderful, rich, and so very important, but at times, it isn't romantic. It's a partnership and a team, and it can be the best thing in the world, but if you want constant dazzling, then maybe you're looking at the wrong things.

i truly agree.

i remember we had a whole subject in college that taught us exactly this: married women should put their husbands as the priority. husbands first, kids second.

initially, we were surprised but eventually, it all made sense. it helps to be reminded. here's an article that i just and is worth sharing to women out there.

Loving the Husband More Than the Kids is Key to Good Life
By The_Stir | Parenting

I remember asking my mom when I was little who she loved best between me and my dad. "It's a different kind of love," she told me then. But the kisses she and my dad shared in the toy aisle, their constant holding hands, and their long vacations sans kids while we stayed with the grandparents told me otherwise. She loved my dad more. And I am so happy she did.

When a family is strong, mom does prioritize the marriage over the kids. But we live in a culture where kids come first. Or, as my friend recently said, "Since when did kids move from the card table at Thanksgiving to the head of the table?" Since when, indeed.

Blogger Joanna Goddard addresses this in her blog and the result is very interesting. She spoke of a conversation she and a friend had after her friend saw writer Esther Perel, the author of Mating in Captivity, a book about sex within a marriage (and after having kids).

Goddard says:

Perel believes that there's a badge of honor among American women to not prioritize yourself or your marriage: It's all about the children. Without realizing it, she said, women can end up getting their emotional intimacy and physical satisfaction from their children, instead of their partners, said Perel. They give their babies tons of wonderful affection -- and then don't have anything left over for their spouse. The marriage can become an afterthought.

Um, yep. How many women do we all know like this? It's not their fault. And I don't blame them. But it's a problem. A huge one, in fact.

The fact is, in a family, if mom and dad aren't happy, ain't nobody else happy either. The marriage should be prioritized higher than anything else.

I see it in my own family all the time. When my husband and I are happy and loving with one another, our children are happy and loving with us. They want to get in between us and cuddle and they are much calmer. After all, the marriage is the foundation of the family.

Ideally, children are born from the love two people share with one another. They grow under the umbrella of that love and then they find their own loves with whom they will do the same. Romantic love is so different (thanks mom!) than the love I feel for my children. I would die for my kids, jump in front of a train for them, and move mountains to keep them happy. But my love for my husband is different.

It's burning and passionate and sexual (one would hope!). It gets me through the hard days and sustains me when things feel low. Without him, the rest would fall apart. I know this, he knows this, and we both work very hard to maintain it. It's not easy. My love for my children is much easier and comes more naturally and takes less work.

So in that sense, yes, my marriage is priority number one. It's what made my family and it's what will stay after my kids fly the nest.

i used to have colored hair, usually mahogany brown. that's because my personal, yes, you read it right ~ personal hairdresser recommends it. and bumagay naman sakin. for about 2 years, i sported brown hair. and then busy life happened that i didn't have time to have my hair colored anymore. that was years ago. 10, if i'm not mistaken. i'm tired of my look that i want drastic change.... so i colored my hair again. this time, it has a shade of red. balinese brown, it says on the box. and i'm loving it! now, i'm undecided whether to cut my hair really short or to have it relaxed nalang. decisions. decisions. have to make a decision before the holidays!!!

had my first run (or should i say walk?) today. it was more of a test if i still had it in me.


surprise, surprise... i didn't faint or anything like that. not even close! hah! ok, so it was not a long walk. walked from mama's to sv drive. but still, it had my heart pumping double time!


and if i'm still alive tomorrow, i'll try (try ha!) to walk / run every weekday.


this is a project, sort of a vow, to a somehow improve my health and to beautify myself ~ just like in 2004 when i was worry-free, care-free and just happy.


i also vow to have monthly facials and have regular visits to the salon (not just once a year!).



let's see how that works, shall we?

most people get envious everytime i say that i work from home. it's true that i don't get to experience horrible traffic and less gas expense, however, there's a downside to it too. but that's a different story.

i decided to be a work-at-home mom for a lot of reasons... but the main reason is so that i can take care of my growing kids during their formative years. besides, mama is starting to have a hard time watching over the 2 monsters because they're growing up so fast and they're sooo malikot and makulit!

don't get me wrong, i love being a wahm and i'm beginning to love my job but there are days that stress from work combined with stress from 2 toddlers and household chores are just too much!

since i am just home, i make it a point... or at least try to make it a point to clean the house and cook dinner everyday. and i love doing it. there's no pressure like i have to finish cleaning in the morning or whatnot. i do the chores at my own pace and time. if i don't get to mop today, no biggie, i do it the following day. there are times when i have to do physically challenging chores, like carry a gallon of water and change the water dispenser... or change the 'gasul' tanks (which sometimes makes me praning, i have to check, recheck and recheck again for singaw).


again, this is not a blog about complaints... it's more of a... i dunno.. expression of frustration, perhaps? frustration about what? i don't know. i definitely don't oblige the husband to do chores because i like doing those chores and i like cooking for my family. so... i don't really know what i'm frustrated about. seriously.

maybe... maybe, i'm just adjusting to this kind of lifestyle. and this is what i'm definite about, i'm not sorry that i quit the 'corporate' world because i'm enjoying spending time with my family more than anything in the whole wide universe.

the husband and i loved watching the walking dead season 1. sobrang nabitin kami sa kwento that we're eagerly waiting for season 2. yesterday, we went to do the grocery in landmark, and we saw zombies on the streets.



apparently, it was a promotional thing from fox tv for the 2nd season of the walking dead. shempre, the husband and i wanted to go in the zombie-infested area, but we were resigned to just looking at the zombies on the other side of the road as our scaredy-cat penoy didn't want to go anywhere near them (they are creepy looking nga naman talaga).



as we were about to leave, i asked the kids to wave goodbye to the zombies and they did.... and the zombies, still in character, waved back too! haha! kaloka!

tiring but fun boo bash in penoy's preschool yesterday.



i asked penoy weeks ago what she wanted to be on halloween. she answered ~ angelina ballerina.



bitoy went as john "you-can't-see-me" cena.



shempre, mawawala ba si mama? she's a bigger stagemom than i am!!!



can't help but be proud of my little rockstar princess as followed the teachers' instructions, she danced, and she even participated in games (without pilit!).

and bitoy! boy, i can't help but be a stagemom on this one. he can hog the limelight if he wants to. salingpusa lang siya kahapon, but he was literally in the centerstage! haha!

so my yearly-awaited holiday is coming up ~ halloween!

this year, i have the opportunity to work on the monsters' costumes. penoy's costume is easy. she wanted to be angelina ballerina. cool. that was like a tank top, a tutu, ballet shoes, mouse ears and ribbon. luckily, i found a headband in landmark with pink mouse ears and pink ribbon. how appropriate! i also found a dress with a tutu-like skirt. that'll do. for her shoes, she already has ballet shoes... but i thought that it'll be hard for her to walk in those so i put ribbons on her white formal shoes (muka namang ballet shoes e).



we are currently hooked on watching astroboy (the husband's dvd) so i thought why not make bitoy an astroboy! he'll be ~ astrobitoy! now this is a little bit tricky. it may look easy ~ black shorts, green belt, shirtless... e pano hair and boots, right? this is where i got a little crafty. let's start with red boots. i simply bought red knee-high socks, stuffed penoy's rain boots in the socks, and voila! red boots! and his hair? paper mache!!! which i did for a total of 5 days ata.



for bitoy's 2nd costume, (yes, may pamalit siyang costume) he's going to be one of my favorite wrestlers, john cena! haha! maong shorts, sneakers, black wristband and a championship belt. how hard could that be? hard. we looked at wwe belts and they cost a thousand bucks! wag na noh. i'll just make my own. this time, i used black cartolina, carton, and gold crepe paper.



i love working with my hands.